We Are Three Horses Sharing Borrowed Time

I was bored tonight and a couple words and ideas popped into my head, so I wrote.

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we are three horses sharing borrowed time
treading the ice, watchers of ghosts
lucid rind of candlelight
our discord, the keeper's sulfur and pyre
to hammer in stone, forgotten
apostles and lover lie

the buried sea and aviary cry
stagnant, desperate I yearn for
that last drop to quench love
to lead the charge, to wring blood from the sky
tranquil a touch, free guide to shore
broken stem enslaved, enough

led by faith and pride stumble blind and stroke
eyes wide, reflected tears, contempt
beacon and foundry offered
from giants' thoughts, essence and power choke
theft and channel tremble without
three in one, brothers time shared

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I know I needed to bleed those words out of my mind, but now I really don't have any left. It was a rough week full of disappointment. I was really just kind of irritated all week and aside from the stress, I don't really know why. Motivation in the face of adversity is a virtue I wish I had. Actually, I love overcoming odds, especially when the act is a testament to my passion. What I don't enjoy is the lack of control over the conditions in which I face odds. It is as if I had trained for decades to become the world's best sniper, both covert and deadly at range, but the powers that be decide to put me on gun in a humvee patrolling in a sandstorm. Those conditions breed a narrative demonstrating, at the very least, Murphy's Law, but more likely a great example of the sophisticated adjective "ungood." I'm not saying that professors set students up to fail, but I am very well-accustomed to professors defining class organization by the consequences of not molding to their prescribed method of learning. Obviously the other side of the coin is impossibility of tailoring a course to every individual, but in an age where students are "responsible for our own learning" shouldn't we be able to demonstrate our learning via our strengths? Sure, I hate reading when you are going to basically read me the section the next day in class. Make me suffer for it during the semester, but when it comes time to figure out my grade, I learned the material. Your class is not Life and Following Orders 101 or Remedial Studies of Sheepledom. The hard fact of the matter is, I accomplished every learning goal you set in place in a different way than you wanted me to. I do not apologize. Therefore, I take my walk of shame to summer school gladly, but I will remember you.

Lol, that was fun. Anyway, yea, my profs kinda sucked this semester, but I learned more than I have any other semester because I chose to still find value in the courses despite their inadequacies. I challenge you all to do the same. Take a difficult course. Stop watching Glee. Do something interesting with your life. Be a better person. Step out of your comfort zone. Jesus doesn't like people who make crappy covers of songs. He still loves them, but in a "I am going to sit here and watch you perform because I know it means a lot to you, but secretly I turned my ears off until you are done" way. Seriously, Glee is like the guitar guy at the party who just brings his guitar along so he can try to get your girlfriend to have sex with him. So the moral of the story is: Glee is not a good show. Goodnight.

Devoid of Knowledge

Alright, well who knows when I'll have enough time to actually write another post. This is the paper that I wrote on Albert Borgmann's "Holding On to Reality." In no uncertain terms, this guy's brain kicked my brain's ass. Anyway, enjoy. I need sleep...really badly. Oh and I didn't proofread, so if it's ridiculous, kindly let me know before I turn it in tomorrow, haha. Thanks.

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Introduction

The dynamics of our world are changing dramatically and in some respects, uncontrollably. I say “world” and not society because the effects of the revolution in information are realized within the entire realm of reality and not just human interactions with each other, or peoples’ interactions with others. This idea is the culmination to which Albert Borgmann’s chronicle of information, “Holding On to Reality,” strives. As I began my accompaniment of his thoughts, I was under the impression that the book would be focused on the negative impacts of technology on our existence in the twenty-first century. In actuality, Borgmann’s purpose followed the advice of many an enlightened psychologist in its reinforcement of the positive aspects of information that we have forgotten and must refocus ourselves on to reclaim the true meaning in reality. He starts at an almost certainly irreducible level and establishes that, “Intelligence provided, a person is informed by a sign about some thing in a certain context” (Borgmann 38). This relation, as he describes it, is composed of the five bolded elements which he defines and frequently refers to. The level of detail and exemplification he provides is both rigorous and unique in its own right, despite the apparent straightforwardness of the subject matter.

Overview

Borgmann addresses information before the rise of technology on two accounts, natural information and cultural information. Whereas the former is solely dependent on the world for the definition of its meaning, the latter requires humanity to assign the meaning and relationship between signs and things. He examines the progressions of the production and realization of cultural information from the earliest examples of language to the permanence of writing that language down. In particular he focuses on Plato’s opinions on the advent of written language, mainly its effects on society and learning. It can be reasonably assumed that he agrees with Plato, that writing information down diminishes and replaces the need for intelligence and memory. The acquisition of knowledge is devalued by the readiness of information to jump off a page (or tablet). The three forms of the realization of information that Borgmann focuses on are reading, performing and building. It is at this point that he introduces his concepts of structure and contingency. Contingency by his definition emanates from the realization of structure giving one the experience necessary to fully appreciate structured information. The third section approaches technology from the same angle as his previous subjects, from the bottom up. He builds upon basic physics and mathematics, to digital logic, to the invention of the transistor and the advent of the personal computer. At this point he tends to contrast technological information with natural and cultural information and begins to offer his point of view on the role of technology in the cheapening of information as a whole.

The Contingency

Borgmann presents in this text a wealth of knowledge that is both staggering to behold and difficult to process. To glean the tone, theme and purpose from this work requires not only a careful eye and attentive mind (most likely intentionally given the results of this search), but also patience as he does not begin to address any familiar ground until the third section of the book. Upon reaching his concluding remarks however, it becomes clear that despite the apparent extreme opposition of technology present throughout much of the work, he merely longs for moderation. Unfortunately moderation in current society is as limited in its presence as relying on the stars for navigation. I related to his feelings at first on the basis of the conversation we had in class, regarding the appreciation of music as a form of art, but realized that his conjecture ran deeper to the true value of music as a form of information, both in structure and contingency. Music has no value when lacking in either the structure that gives it form or the realization of its existence via performance. The alternative in today’s digital world is a representation of the frequencies of the sound waves as numbers corresponding to amplitude of said waves being reduced to ones and zeros, effectively stripping the meaning out of the information. Of course, anyone who has attended a performance of a Shostakovich symphony or Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” can attest to the presence of more than ones and zeros. The concepts promoted today revolve around ease of use and availability; In turn, acquiring information no longer takes skill or effort and lacks the substance to be worthy of inclusion in either knowledge or meaning. I do not think this observation could be any closer to the truth. Furthermore, what other approach than the exemplification and examination of the extreme opposition would make clear the magnitude of the expanse between the original dependence on natural information and the effects of technology on our world?

Having been written in 1999 (though in this age twelve years is a substantial time period), Borgmann posed several propositions that indeed were made reality in the first decade of this millennium including the level of commercialization that took place on the internet. I tended to oppose him on several fronts regarding his presumptions about the general public’s presence on the internet, specifically regarding hackers. Whether it is a more pessimistic attitude or just a current familiarity with today’s youth, I am inclined to disagree that hackers will ever “get tired” (214) of opposing the system. I do agree however, that due to the driving force of the capitalist engine corporations will always continue to tighten their grip on the internet. The vast majority of Borgmann’s conjectures based only on examining history up through the 90s were surprisingly accurate. Technological information should exist as a supplement and facilitation of knowledge gained by experience and actual effort. Spoon feeding information to people inhibits the process of learning by teaching the learners not to think. For the sincere thinker, or possibly the curious victim of disillusionment this study of the nature of information provides ample opportunity to expand the bounds of one’s knowledge and understanding of how humans have evolved their methods of producing and realizing information. As with anything, the author’s point of view must be remembered, but Borgmann demonstrates a refreshingly unbiased position on an issue that is famously prone to prejudice.

Return to Affliction

As I have maintained in the past, the eloquence of the Christian life lies in its simplicity. While every single issue is not dealt with explicitly in the Bible, a model is demonstrated to which we may compare our thoughts and actions. Every Christian (and I may almost be inclined to say every sane person) knows what is right. Our desire to further our own goals and perpetuate our inherent selfishness is the sole, and I emphasize sole, cause of the continued argument over morality within the Christian church. Indeed, any opposition to that statement is merely evidence of being jaded to the point of ignorance by one’s own selfishness. That being said, the technology which we are familiar with obviously was not explicitly mentioned in the Bible, but that does not mean it is held to any less of a standard. It is clear that in his teachings, Jesus facilitated wisdom and the ability to think through his use of parables. In fact, the instances of disciples requesting to be spoon-fed an answer pleasantly illustrate the point of Borgmann. Jesus led each inquirer to a path from which he or she could arrive at an answer, not an answer itself, as would reasonably be expected of a teacher. As an engineering student, I am often reminded that I will have an ability to minister to people who would otherwise be unreachable via technical expertise. When the necessity is great and whether people realize it or not, they are much more inclined to listen to someone who has genuine intelligence. The same can be said of our pursuit of learning in general; we should not seek to cheapen the information from which we learn as it cheapens the knowledge which can be acquired. At no point in the Bible are we encouraged to believe that any of our lives will be easy. On the contrary, we are likely not doing what we are supposed to be if each day poses no challenges. To pursue valuable knowledge is to pursue the fulfillment and realization of the potential which we are given by grace and called to seek.

Conclusion

The sheer volume of information which is present (ironically enough) in Borgmann’s writing though at first discouraging provided an opportunity to examine any preconceptions I had regarding the nature of information and its role in our reality. A history, physics, mathematics, philosophy and ethics lesson all rolled into one source represents information itself well in its demonstration of the permeation and universality inherent in the concept. The two most prominent queues I realized as I read were most certainly the ideas of appreciation and moderation. The former refers to being able to step back to a previous age before computers could be used to accomplish all our tasks, but at the same time requires one to go beyond mere recognition of significance and arrive at a recognition of necessity. What I mean to say is that cultural and natural, what I would call experiential, information holds more weight in genuine knowledge than technological information ever could. The latter concept, moderation, is a theme which appears frequently when one sincerely examines the state of current affairs. Our society is bombarded by extremism in one form or another and we must really strive to be educated and aware enough to recognize the lack of rationality present in our culture. To truly possess knowledge, one must seek it. However tantalizing the temptation to interpret “seek” as “Google,” we must hold ourselves to a higher standard of learning that does not depend on ease of use and pure quantity of information, but on quality and sincere effort.

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For the record, I think that Google and Wikipedia are amazing. They have saved my life on several occasions, but sometimes is just feels wrong to have that much at your finger tips.

The Encore

"It's not the lies that you sing, but what the silence will scream."

It's not like I haven't had enough to do over the past week. It's also not like I don't have enough to be doing right now and tomorrow. I don't need more to think about, or more to waste my precious seconds on at this hour of night, this late in the semester. There are about twenty better things I could be doing right now, sleep not the least of all. My brain is barely running after the ridiculousness that has permeated these last 5 days. I can't even say at this point whether or not I have something interesting to say. So I apologize, but much to Jaron Lanier's horror, I'm gonna write this anyway.

I sometimes wonder how related my thoughts are to the rest of humanity's. With as many people as there are on this planet plus all those who came before us, how can we have unique feelings and thoughts, right? I mean, obviously Aristotle didn't think about when the next episode of House was on, but generally speaking. People deal with feeling guilty, apprehensive, inadequate, etc. We relate to people all the time via some sort of connection. We don't make friends and have relationships just because we are both humans. I think most of the differences that make people unique are in the way they respond to these common thoughts and feelings. It follows then, that people be defined by their actions because actions are always, in effect, reactions to some specific thought or feeling, a thought or feeling that is common to many people. If one were defined by that thought or feeling, one would cease to be unique. I ponder only because it seems we are programmed to believe that we are unique, in the bad way I mean. At some point everyone has thought that their situation was unique to them, like there was no one who understood. In reality, it probably happens all the time. And now I can hear the hypocritical reactions to this statement in my head. "You're saying no one is unique? You're reducing people's individuality." Yes and no. Only within the bounds of defining a common and comforting foundation. The ironic part about the situations that I speak of is that we want to be unique and therefore embrace our plights. We welcome advice of course. No one wants to be stuck in a shitty situation, but the devaluing happens in our mind when someone says, "Oh yea, I know exactly what you mean. I figured it out. You will too." And this is coming from me, who doesn't care when someone makes a "well at least you're not (insert worse situation here)" statement. I don't really understand the existence of those statements though (tangent alert). I mean honestly, I'm pretty sure the person is aware they are not an orphan starving in Africa who inherited AIDS from his or her mother so even if they get food and water....and so on, but how the hell is that supposed to make anyone feel better? Now they are still in their bad situation and feel worse for not being content. Anyway, point being, if you say things like that, they don't help, lol. My general wondering didn't really have a purpose. I just don't understand why so many of the things we do, especially when other people are involved, contradict each other.

The specific part of that wondering is more pertinent to me. Most people have a person that has inspired them to pursue what they do. There's that common childhood mindset of seeing someone or something and wanting to be "just like them." I have realized recently that I have never had that. Probably part of my issue with choosing a major and deciding what I want to do. When I see someone awesome at something, i.e. Stephen Christian's lyrics or any number of people's skills in singing/playing instruments, I never become inspired. In fact, it does the opposite. I think I stated in an earlier post that there is always going to be someone who does what you do best better than you. If that isn't a great example of a negative statement, I don't know what is. The wonderful thing about being hypocritical on the internet, of course, is that most people have no idea that you are acting thusly, but I'll excuse it because I write this as much for me as for anyone else. So the question really is, how does one become inspired? The second question and more important question is, why the hell did I just getting a spam message saying I can browse Jewish singles near me? Phishing has become pretty ineffective if some algorithm thinks there are many Jewish singles to browse in Upland, IN. Anyway, I know that we are in college to learn so obviously people know more than us. I also know that there are areas in which we know more than those that come before us. But how does one go about excelling in an area without committing to living his or her life only in pursuit of gaining recognition? I have had my prof for principles singing praises because I am at such a disadvantage being the least qualified to be in the class yet taking on the most complicated project, but honestly why should that matter? I did my job, rather poorly in fact. I don't want to sound pretentious. I do appreciate it, but everyone else in the class killed themselves to get the project done too. The separation that I see is the people who loved what they were doing versus the people who were just doing a project for class. The people who deserve praise are the ones who are inspired to their fields, the ones who wear their passion on their sleeves. Those are the people who are going to make a difference and excel. If you hadn't figured it out yet, I'm pretty much writing stream of consciousness here. But I do have a couple thoughts to write that aren't part of this train of thought so I am derailing it here.

Don't be concerned, to those of you who are prone to be, by the last paragraph. I am positive that I am an engineer. I would be content with people handing me a bunch of parts and just hooking them up and seeing if they explode for the rest of my life. Well maybe not content, but I'm sure that something within the field is what I am suited for. Granted professional killing is always on the table because when one has a moral flexibility, why not put it to use, right? In all seriousness though, I am recently in awe of how focused people are on "relationships." I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that not many people know exactly who they are when they enter college. fts? Sure, but honestly our generation has become set on consistently finding a new person to define themselves by. I absolutely do not condone having sex before marriage. Not a good idea for many, many reasons, but during college if someone needed to choose between just making out with a bunch of people and dating two or three people for that same time period...just make out. Life, especially college life, is not about narrowing down the pool of potential mates. Whether you're a Christian or not, this is a time of preparation and learning. I am henceforth going to assume the "I came to Taylor to find a spouse" mindset is tantamount to spending 120k dollars to find a man or woman and therefore Taylor is reduced to nothing more than a high class escort service for people who want "the whole package" and not just sex. As with most of my arguments, this is not an attack on the institution in question, it is an attack on stupidity. For the record, I am very happy in my relationship :) haha.

I should probably sleep soon, but I wanted to write about selfishness a little bit because I know that it is one of those common (and largely unconscious) things I was talking about previously. It is very hard for us to not want success in this life. I know that I would love to be able to afford all these wants I have and still have money to put towards the future. On top of this inherent nature, culture consistently bombards us with things that would "make our lives better." I have found that the act of borrowing viciously combats selfishness, but not on the surface level. I know that it takes a lot to knock sense into my own head and only when I am pushed to disgust with myself, can I truly say, "Okay, this has to stop," without rationalizing away my feelings and going on with my life. Borrowing a car for example, as I am still lacking in the transportation department, frustrates the hell out of me. I wish I had the money to afford a car and thus despise my plight of credit card debt which then leads me to hate the circumstances of acquiring the debt and the whole thing just snowballs until I can't stand it and I finally say enough. This may seem unhealthy, but as the circumstances of the self-deprecation are devised with clear intent of improvement, I believe it is actually an act of self-control. And as with most confrontations with selfishness, the result often comes down to a matter of self-control or lack thereof. That is not to say of course that jumping into the deep end is the way to overcome selfishness. But the blatant opposition of this selfishness by engaging it from a distance may decrease the opportunities for selfishness to catch one off-guard. If you know where your crazy stalkerwhoisgoingtomurderyou is hiding in the bushes, running away from the bush isn't the best way to deal with it as there is an abundance of foliage in the world. However, running to the perfect position from which to ambush said stalkerwhoisgoingtomurderthehelloutofyou is a decent strategy if I've ever heard one...and I watch a lot of Asian movies. That's not true at all, but I've seen The Last Samurai, and unsurprisingly, gattling guns in an elevated position beat swordsman on horses. Now after that plethora of imagery, I tire and thusly retire.

...to the bushes ;)

Yea it's 6am give me a break.

You see love is a drink 

That goes straight to my head

And time is a lover 

And I'm caught in her stead

And the sentiment there follows me

Straight to my bed through the night

I've got my life in a suitcase

I'm ready to run run run away

I've got no time

'cause I'm always trying to run run run away

'cause everyday it feels like it's only a game

I've got my life in a suitcase, a suitcase, a suitcase

Edit:

I had wanted to start sharing some of the stuff I have done for classes here because it has (for the most part) a lot of thought put into it. This is the paper I wrote for ethics a couple weeks ago: The Technological Caste System

Enjoy.